nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I believe in your delicious
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
