So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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