Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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