i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
