If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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