Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
