So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
