I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
