I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
