The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
