He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
