Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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