My nipple is on Facebook.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
