what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
