Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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