He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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