i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize