3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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