If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
