after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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