Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
