I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
