so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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