please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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