bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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