Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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