No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish life had little blips of pornography
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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