I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
