I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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