Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
