I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
