Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This is not my ceiling
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
