I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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