fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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