This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
