Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
thus making me awesome and them whores
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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