why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
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