Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
