Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
