I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
