wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
