About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
