i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
