Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
