it glows. i had to have it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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