Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
