Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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