the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
