Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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