people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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