or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
