Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she smelled like a LAN party
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
